Alex Ingosi, a 47-year-old casual worker from Kawangware in Nairobi, has shared the unusual story of how he ended up paying dowry for his firstborn son before paying dowry for his own wife.
For about 20 years, Ingosi lived with the woman who became his wife without formally paying her dowry. The situation was not caused by a disagreement between the two families. Instead, Ingosi said his decision was influenced by the Luhya cultural traditions he follows.
Before settling down with his wife, Ingosi had fathered a son with another woman. The boy was born out of wedlock 22 years ago, and Ingosi never married his mother.
According to Ingosi, his culture required him to fulfil an important obligation involving his firstborn son before he could proceed with other family matters.
As a result, the responsibility remained with him for years as he raised his family and worked to make ends meet.
Ingosi eventually managed to pay dowry for his son. The payment marked the fulfilment of an obligation that had remained unresolved for more than two decades.
After completing that process, Ingosi also began the process of paying dowry for the woman he had lived with for about 20 years.
The couple has four children together, making the cultural journey even more significant for their family.
Ingosi has now found himself in a rare position of having paid dowry twice, first in connection with his firstborn son and later for his wife.
His story highlights how traditional customs continue to influence family relationships and important decisions among different Kenyan communities.
For Ingosi, the journey took many years and came with responsibilities that had to be handled one step at a time. His experience also shows how cultural obligations can shape the lives of families long after children are born and relationships have been formed.