13 important things to consider before choosing someone to marry
Are you sure God is in it? Can you confidently say your future together has the backing of God?
Will your faith be an issue? Are you a believer? What’s your faith? Faith in God is such a personal thing in people, people defend it and even put it above their spouse. So don’t marry someone of no faith or of a different faith from yours. Talk about this before marriage.
Are you the best of friends? Beyond the romance, sweet stuff, intimacy, chemistry; are you true friends? Friendship is the foundation of any lasting relationship. Subscribe to Our Newsletter Enter Your Email Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special offers!
Are you sexually compatible? Sex is a gift to be enjoyed in marriage. Wait until marriage to have sexual intercourse, but before marriage do you find each other sexually stimulating? Does the person ignite your sex drive or do you struggle to make a connection? Is the person your kind of sexy? You have sexual needs; it is dangerous to enter marriage with someone who will frustrate that need yet expects you to be faithful.
Do you really know each other? Ask yourself if you are rushing things or if you have really known each other enough, your strengths, limitations, annoying ways and admirable ways? Can you look at that person and say “I know you deep”?
Has your love passed the test of time? Has your love passed the pleasing and mushy phase where you just show the good side of you? Have you gone through challenges and storms that reveal who you both truly are and valued each other even more? Have you gone through moments where you could have quit but you fought for your love because you truly need each other? Has the quality and strength of your love been tested because bigger battles await you in marriage?
Will finances be an issue? How do you both handle finances? Does little money make you intolerable to each other? Does big money bring pride and economic wars? Money comes and goes but will it change how you view each other? Finances are a big threat to marriage if handled wrongly.
Are you comfortable with each other’s past? Everyone has a past; the good, the bad, the ugly. With what you know about each other’s past, will you love each other fully or will you keep bringing up the dark past, attacking each other with scars of the past? When you go through tough times will you belittle your tough present by comparing it with the glorious past you came from?
Can you handle each other’s relatives? Not every in-law will be loving and accommodating. Get to know your potential spouse”s family, but in case they don’t like you will you two be divided? The idea is to be accepted by your spouse’s relatives, though the reality is some relatives smile on your wedding day but look for reasons to attack you later. Remember you are marrying your lover, not your lover’s relatives or parents.
Do you love yourself? You will never love another purely and fully without first loving yourself. Resolve any issues you have with yourself, don’t hide behind marriage.
Are you individually ready? Both of you must be ready, not just one. Interrogate your reasons for wanting to get married? Is it external pressure or internal conviction and desire? Never should you walk into marriage and later on feel trapped.
How do handle disputes? Has your love matured enough to the point of having a dispute solving mechanism? The closer you two get the more frictions will emerge between you two. Have you agreed on how to handle arguments, differences of opinion, tempers, feelings, communication, and decisions or do you relate in crude non-re conciliatory ways leaving room for potential chaos?
Are you willing to give your all? Marriage will not work unless you give your all. Are you ready to commit to that one person all your life, to let that person completely in and put your heart on the line to reap the benefits of the highest union between two people?