Media personality Adelle Onyango has sparked widespread conversation after sharing a reflective Instagram carousel addressing love, identity, and the journey of self-discovery.
Through a series of candid quotes, she revisits her past relationships, divorce, and the societal conditioning that once shaped her understanding of love.
Confronting a Past Self
Adelle explained that her personal transformation began with confronting a version of herself she had created to navigate a patriarchal society.
“In this process I had to kill the version of me I had created to navigate patriarchy… to choose me, I had to first figure out who I was.”
Her reflections highlight the emotional and mental work required to break free from expectations that often pressure women into predefined roles.
Choosing Self Over Expectation
At the heart of her message is the importance of prioritising oneself. She describes self-love not as a one-time decision, but a continuous, intentional act.
“My liberation is both birthed and fuelled by my ability to choose me. Always… Freedom is the constant choosing of self.”
She emphasised that personal fulfilment cannot be outsourced to relationships or external validation.
Challenging the Idea of Being “Chosen”
Adelle also questioned societal norms that tie a woman’s worth to being chosen by a partner. She admitted that this mindset once influenced her own dating patterns.
“What was my type? Whoever was choosing me.”
She revealed that she often convinced herself to stay in relationships, even without genuine attraction, gradually training herself to develop feelings for partners who showed interest.
Early Patterns in Love
Tracing this back to her teenage years, she recalled her first relationship at 15, describing how social pressure to “pair up” shaped her decisions.
A simple agreement to attend an event led to a long-term relationship that lasted several years—an experience she now views through a more reflective lens.
Divorce as a Turning Point
Adelle described her divorce from Falgun Bhojak as a defining moment that forced her to turn inward and rediscover herself.
“In many beautiful ways, divorce can be a blessing… it forced me to choose me.”
She explained that the process required deep introspection—learning to listen to herself, reconnect with her identity, and let go of versions of herself that no longer aligned with who she is.
Redefining Love
Today, Adelle says her understanding of love has shifted significantly. Rather than seeking validation from others, she centres her worth within herself.
“I am my one true love.”
She also challenged the way society often celebrates self-sacrifice in relationships, questioning why women are encouraged to lose themselves in pursuit of romantic acceptance.
Adelle, who married Falgun Bhojak in a private ceremony in 2017, confirmed in 2025 that their marriage ended due to irreconcilable differences, including disagreements over traditional expectations such as taking a spouse’s surname and starting a family.
Her reflections have since resonated with many online, adding to ongoing conversations about identity, independence, and modern relationships.