Sometime back, I used to have a Congolese brother live right next to my house. I don’t quite remember anything much about this guy other than that he was very flashy and his house had a bee line of girls you’d be forgiven for thinking he operated some kind of black market gynaecological clinic.
Then one day, he just disappeared without a trace. No byes, no nothing. Guy was gone; fell off the radar just like that. The result, his one-window bedsitter had created five new and young single mothers who now had no means of survival.
This scenario usually repeats itself so many times, but as usual, Kenyan women just never learn. The line “maybe he is different” becomes our consolation as in the thickness of all the doubt.
I am not sure if it’s the accent or the names that are a mouthful to pronounce and sound like the gurgling noise someone makes while brushing their teeth, but boy, do these guys just seem to have some special kind of grasp on our young women.
They practically have women hanging off their shoulders, waiting for their turn to dive into the dangerous foreign waters.
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One thing you should know about these guys is that they are non-committal. You know, that’s why they could confidently walk away from their motherland in the first place to come look for easy cash from gullible Kenyans. If it’s the thrill you are seeking, then that’s fine.
But if you must get pregnant, then at the back of your mind, you should be ready to raise that kid alone. Have an emergency exit plan stashed somewhere coz when the man finally cashes in on his long con, he will be gone before you are done peeing on that pregnancy test strip.
And you know what’s worse, that Ugochukwu could turn out to be a Mwangi with a West African accent. So much for “I don’t date Kenyan men”! There’s nothing as sad as being an African woman, single parent and living in extreme poverty.
Don’t be lied to by these shortcuts to eternal wealth. Trust me, if he had those acres of gold mines back home, he wouldn’t be in Kenya literally kissing women’s butts for a quick cent.
I know Kenyan men are a bit wanting in some departments and the foreigners look like manna from heaven with their flashy lifestyles, unending romance and excellent bed skills. But how special must you be for the sky spirits to drop a perfect, well-rounded man at your feet? Is anyone ever that lucky? The best you can ever be is become his drug mule and if you are unlucky, end up with a kid and every single cent wiped out from your accounts.
Exactly what are you hoping to achieve by dating these men? What’s the end game? Do you think that Nigerian man will take you back to his country where you will become a yam-pounding, enugu soup-drinking submissive wife? I don’t think these guys think that much further ahead.
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It is only a matter of time before he moves on to the next wealthier and less nagging sister. So, I wouldn’t be so comfortable if I were you. In fact, sleep with your running shoes on and your ATM cards clutched close to your heart.
